Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Yup that’s all I’m going to say about finals.
P.S How many times can you say "I'd rather be skinned alive and rolled in salt" before it becomes redundant?
Friday, December 3, 2010
Saturday, November 13, 2010
I'm basically good at three things; reading, devouring sweets, and scrapbooking.
It's like I'm 80 already.
Anyhoo, we played football and my team won! But the fun really began when a guy brought a giant orb to the activity! We put the orb on a steep hill and everyone lined up for their turned to be strapped to the inside and rolled down the hill. Now you would think because I'm scared of heights, being out of control, and tight sweaty spaces that this is something I would not do. But you see I have this problem where I think every adventure is fun and exciting and it's not until I'm mid swing off a cliff, halfway through a haunted house, or strapped to the inside of a ball do I remember how terrified I am of everything.
My roommate Kelsi decided to go in it with me and this is one of the funnest things we've ever done. We were hysterically laughing down the entire hill and by the time we came to a stop, we were down right giddy. If any of you have the chance to do this go for it!
Saturday, November 6, 2010
As I was walking through campus I stumbled upon this and thought, "Wow it would be nice to find a fellow, get married, and have my own family"
And that's when it hit me. "Hey wait a second! This is what BYU wants me to think!"
How dare they Jedi mind trick me like that!
You know what! I bet they strategically place those mothers playing with their cutsy kids around campus just to insure that parenthood is all we'll be thinking about. It's a conspiracy!
Well not this student. I refuse to fall victim to your clever tricks!
P.S. I still can't help thinking how cute having a little girl with curly hair would be....dang BYU!
P.P.S Let it be known this was written past midnight, a time where sanity starts to wane and paranoia/hysteria takes over.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
STOLEN UNICORN COSTUME
I don't even want the costume back. I made these flyers to tell you that I hate you costume thief. I hope it looks good on you in Hell!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Turtles= exams and tests
The falls= all the times we can fail
The flowers = the teachers that aren’t really aiming at us, but it’s not like they’re stopping their rain of fire.
As Mario’s we have a limited amount of lives before we experience complete meltdowns that strip us of our joy and leave us crying in the fetal position. For the past two months I have been living the life of a small Mario who is scorched, broken, and regular victimized by turtles.
That all changed this week
Not only have I grown full size with a nifty cape, but I even hit that invincibility star that surrounds me with sparkles and gives me the power to kill every last one of those vicious turtles.
In essence I am a happy Mario riding his very own yoshi.
Now I’m going to list some of the major lucky things that have happened this week and you will listen :)
I got a 100% on my Brit Lit Paper revision
I found out that I did NOT in fact fail my American Lit test like I thought, but got an A!!!!
I also got and A on my presentation in American Lit! BooYa!
I was able to retake my D&C test and I got an A!
My ASL class was canceled and I took a nap instead
Every night I walk into my house exhausted while my roommate asks, “Lora would you like to eat (insert delicious meal here)” to which I respond, “Why yes, yes I would.”
My visiting teachers brought over a pan of brownies and we make homemade ice cream to go with them.
The MTC wants to put me up for a Promotion to Supervisor after only a month of work.
After my Wednesday shift at the MTC they gave us all a free meal and let us have as much BYU creamery ice cream as we wanted.
I stopped making an idiot of myself in my sign language tutoring sessions and I'm actually pretty legit now!
I got an interview at the Eyring Science building for a secretary job
I got a call back to interview again for this job because, according to the lady, “My references were amazing and my past bosses loved me.”
I GOT THE JOB!!!
A few of the tasks I’ll HAVE to be doing is trying out dessert recipes, eating cookies, and scrapbooking. IS THIS REAL LIFE! The job only gives me 10 hours right now, but it reduces my MTC shifts from 6 to two and come December I get 20 hours and can officially burn all those atrocious hats.
And this week is not over. Skylar is coming this weeked and I have made plans for us to sleep in, go shopping, and eat at Olive Garden and J dogs. Plus next week Jill is coming to have crazy Halloween fun at haunted houses!
All of this adds up to uncontrollable giddiness.
If I knew how to spell the sound the game makes when Mario finishes a level I would insert it right now….but I don’t so use your imagination.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The Relationship between student and teacher is equivalent to pond scum and an olympic gymnast who doesn't even go near ponds.
How I Learned This Lesson:
Silly me,I decided I would write my essay and in some miraculous feat it would be deemed acceptable by the academic world…I was sadly mistaken.
See I came from a world where teachers brought students pizza, and donuts, and would tell hilarious jokes involving men and kilts. They graded on effort not ability, and I welcomed this system like ice cream after a 5 mile run. I didn’t realize that at evil places (BYU!) teachers wanted you to put in a good 20 hours per paper even though you only allotted 4 hours to the project.
So I took my paper in to discuss it with my teacher on Wednesday(a whole two days before it was due)and as I walked into her office I was immediately assaulted by a wall of books. Yes, I realize I also own a ton of books, but the main difference between our collections is mine consists of happy go lucky frivolous reads filled with lolly pops and rainbows………and each of hers weighed more than my head with titles I couldn't pronounce.
My palms began to moisten when I handed her my paper and saw the plaque containing the words Doctorate and NOTRE DAME!
(The Plaque was written in Latin, WHAT. I have to say I like my Latin like I like my zombies, to stay dead.)
Then she started reading it while I started to sweat profusely. And as my words and opinions were shredded and demolished before my eyes I slowly started to shrink in stature until I was drowning in the puddles created by my very own tears and perspiration.
When she was done I quickly gathered up the pieces of my ill-conceived thoughts and ideas and removed my moisture sodden pride from her disappointed eyes, apologizing for ever subjecting her to the excruciating experience that was reading my paper.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
2. Two guys riding on a scooter
3. Floral hair arrangements (yes, a flower can look cute in your hair girls, but lets not get carried away. A garden noggin is not a fashion statement!)
4. The big words the other english students while I contemplate buying a dictionary.
5. Single adult dances *snort*
6. Guys comments on my walking speed. (it's not my fault my femur bone is freakishly long, it simple gets me to places faster.)
7. Kyle yelling, "you're not black," as a walk by with my headphones in.
8. Having a 20 lb bag of ketchup spill on me and the MTC carpet. (this moment fully captured me in all my glory)
9. Guys in Skinny jeans and v-neck shirts. Why? because it's gross and, frankly, a little gay.
10. Getting text messages from my brother Adam saying, "have you got any yet?" Well Adam, have fun explaining to mom what that sentence means.
Friday, September 17, 2010
But alas this is me we are talking about and my life has a way of taking the more hilarious route.
Instead I found a job at the MTC. Do not let the glamour of the MTC name confuse you, I do not work WITH the missionaries, I work FOR the missionaries. My job title, in all its glory, is The Dish Room Worker. This job includes scraping food off dishes, turning over cups, and if I’m lucky, unloading the dishes of 2700 hungry missionaries. And in-between all of the loading and unloading I get to wade through the hot sticky air, permeated with the smell of a thousand flavors.
I’m a lucky girl, right?
Do you want to hear the worst part….the uniform includes a hat. I don’t know if you’ve seen curly hair under a hat, but it closely resembles a small woodland creature caught in a very aggressive trap. Once again I tend to make things sound worse than they are. The dish room is an okay profession, even honorable if you throw in the whole, “I’m serving the missionaries,” so I really shouldn’t complain...but I probably still will.
Now on to the next job. On weekends I get to work 6 hour shifts for the even staff at the BYU football games. This job includes directing people to their seats, enforcing crowd control, and telling guests not to stand by the railings and having them yell at me (this actually happened, this mean old man got irrationally mad at me and bawled me out, but I have to say he did come later and apologized). You may wonder if I get to actually watch a BYU football game, well the pamphlet says no, but I’m known for my rebellious streak so I do it anyways, I just have to be very very sneaky like ( Most of you know authority frightens me, but I’ve come up with a most brilliant plan to openly boast that I’m a rebellion in hopes that it one day might be true). I actually don’t mind this job, and even though I have to sport yet another atrocious hat, I do get into the games for free ;)
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Enough with the boring stuff like workload, due dates, psycho teachers, blah blah blah and on to the good stuff.
Social life! (You know, I’m beginning to think that FHE, break-the-fasts, ward pray, and opening socials are all a ploy to get us single folk married...nah I’m probably just being paranoid)
Needless to say I did not do any homework till Monday and I have to say Monday was the longest day ever. Six hours of homework does a lot of damage to curly haired girls such as I.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
“Packing up. The nagging worry of departure. Lost keys, unwritten labels. Tissue paper lying on the floor. I hate it all. Even now when I have done so much of it, when I live, as the saying goes, in my boxes…..I am aware of sadness of a sense of loss. Here, I say, we have lived, we have been happy. This has been ours, however brief the time. Though two nights only have been spent beneath a roof, yet we leave something of ourselves behind. Nothing material, not a hairpin on a dressing table, not an empty bottle of aspirin tablets, not a handkerchief beneath the pillow, but something indefinable, a moment of our lives, a thought, a mood.”
“This house sheltered us, we spoke, we loved within those walls. That was yesterday. Today we pass on, we see it no more, and we are different, changed in some infinitesimal way. We can never be quite the same again.”
For the past few weeks I have been at a loss for words to describe what I feel about leaving EAC and this quote typifies my very thoughts. I am packing up memories, laughs, friendships, moments that have changed my life and I can’t adequately describe how sad this makes me. EAC was one of the best decisions of my life and I am grateful for all of the amazing people I have met and the wonderful times we have had here. So thank you EAC you gave me two wildly marvelous years.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
For instance I needed to study for my Tuesday finals. So I made up a strict schedule of study times in order for me to ace them all. But then life got in the way and laughed hysterically at all my silly goals. Here is a chart of what I wanted to happen and what actually happened this last Monday.
Goal: wake up at 9, get ready, and start working on your outline for your final essay in Eng 218.
Reality: woke up at 11
Goal: Eat a healthy meal to ready your mind for finals.
Reality: Went to KFC with friends then walked to Wal-Mart for my 4th Ben and Jerry’s this week.
Goal: Spend afternoon working on outline for Eng 222
Reality: Engaged in epic battle of Risk with friends (Taylor, Brandon, Megan, Cheston, Nick, Marisa, Kelly)
Goal: Study for Biology final until the Closing Social begins
Reality: I took a nap (in my defense Risk took a lot out of me and I needed to sleep off my Ben and Jerry’s hangover)
Goal: After social go home and get to bed early
Reality: Stayed up till midnight and watched a movie with my friends.
In conclusion, I made some pretty bad life choices…..and will probably continue making them since we haven’t finished Risk yet and Taylor and I are owning!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Now I have a moral dilemma, what should I say?! So here are a few options and I need your help decided what will be appropriate.
Lie. “Every day I wake up and smile because that is the day I get to journey into the wonderful world of physics. I let out a giddy sigh and thank the heavens BYU forced me to take this class. I skip to the classroom and feel like my soul is finally whole because physics completes me.”
The nifty use of a double meaning: “I came, I learned, I loved”. (I came…with much resistance, I learned…..that I hate football players, I loved….. when a football player almost electrocuted himself in lab)
Truth: “Being in your class is like having my nails slowly ripped out of my fingers. It takes a lot of time, there are tears involved, and there will definitely be scars left over.”
I am facing a serious catch-22!
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Every night I know that I will be woken up at an indecent hour perspiring (a lady never sweats) to death. I will than be so irate that I can no longer go to bed. I will proceed to jump into a cold shower fully clothed and sink into my wet bed with a sweet sigh of relief.
I might not have the best sleeping habits, oh what am I saying I hardly get any sleep anymore, but the precious hours that my head gets to spend on my feather pillow are few and far between and the scumbags that are turning the heat on will pay, maybe not today or tomorrow, but someday they will PAY!
Saturday, March 27, 2010
I have to say I was really rooting for Europe, but alas BYU won and so this will be next years destination. I know this probably isn't the sanest way to decide ones future, but I've never been one for sanity.
So come August I will be packing up and leaving the sunny splendor of Arizona and entering the dark dismal abyss of Utah.
Two years of soul sucking is going to go by fast....right?
Monday, March 22, 2010
15 minutes into the run and my lungs felt like they were on fire and I started wheezing hard core. I immediately redirected my run to the fastest route home. I barely dragged my body up the driveway and crawled to the middle of the family room. It was here that I was overcome with hot flashes and couldn't get my swish swish pants off fast enough (to ease your mind I was wearing shorts underneath). Then came the strong need to rid my stomach of all its contents thank goodness it was a false alarm. After the stomach debacle my poor heart was beating as fast as a hummingbirds (nice metaphor huh, I guess English class is paying off). And after 10 minutes of intense breathing exercises I was finally able to get up and grab some crackers and a pillow and then get some well deserved rest.
It was in this position, passed out with my pants lying next to me, that mom found me.
Mom deduced that high altitude was the culprit and I deduced that I would never run ever ever again…..and then I baked cookies.
I’m starting to think I need to embrace the college weight instead of making it feel like that annoying smelly person that won't stop following you around.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Anyhoo, yesterday we were doing a lab and our group was the only group who did the lab perfectly. Everybody else had to restart several times because of their inferiority to our marvelous lab skills. Our teacher even came up and gave us a high five and exclaimed to the whole class how wonderful we were. At this opportune moment I took the time to heckle the smart group with sayings like,
“Who’s stupid now, Huh punks!?” (In retrospect this is not a proud moment)
Because of our awesomenosity our group even got to leave early with the glow of victory fresh on our faces.
Well the next class one of the smart boys came and gave us cookies with a bow on top to congratulate us for doing so well……
yah, I felt like the biggest shmutz
…..but even though my head was hung in shame I was still able to consume a good amount of victory cookies.
Sunday, February 28, 2010
“Why does my meat have scales?”
“This isn’t supposed to be grey.”
“Last time I ate this I threw up.”
Blah blah blah blah BLAH!
I don’t know what their problem is. I simply step up and say. “I’ll take the brown stuff topped with the lumpy red sauce and the brownie …o it’s a roll?….ahh what the heck I’ll take that too.
I mean it’s not like the athletes are actually chewing it anyway; they’re really just gorging it down their gullet.
So what difference does it make if it’s a substitute meat product instead of the actual thing?
Thursday, February 11, 2010
You may believe that every elliptical is the same, but you my friend are incorrect. Enrique is special and is the only thing that stands between me and the sophomore 20 lbs. Everyday Enrique fights a losing battle to my daily indulges of chocolate, popcorn, m&m's, oreos, little debbie snacks, and ice cream. Now I figured the very least I could do was dedicate a post to him :) So thank you Enrique and I apologize for yelling at you yesterday, you were only trying to help.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
This takes me back to when I was in second grade and a boy name Val tattled on me for calling him four-eyes. In my defense he wore glasses and he was a BOY named VAL. He should have just had a sign that said ‘make fun of me’ on it. Anyhoo that was the last time I’ve been tattled on until this moment.
But what’s really hilarious about this situation is nothing he said was true! I have barely said two words to this guy and neither of those words included an eye-roll. Luckily my boss has known me for longer and knew that I would never be mean to someone …….unless they really deserve it.
Friday, February 5, 2010
If physics were a person I would squeeze lemon juice in its eyes and kick it really hard.
FYI: Indian accents arn't so cute when they belong to a Physics teacher who you can't understand!!!
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
But what really gets me is he came in at 6 during my shift to check when his shift started. Which makes me wonder why he did not just inform me then that he was going to be an irresponsible jerk who intended to leave me in the game room till 9:00 still trying to find a replacement?
I mean really how hard would it have been to say,
“Excuse me Lora, I’m just a stupid negligent boy who had decided to waste your time through my immature actions.”
To which I would have responded in saying,
“Sweet, now I will engage in calling my family and friends and telling them in advance why I do not like you.”
See I can totally be civilized; all you have to do is tell me in advance when you're going to ruin my night.
Anyhoo I guess I just have to be thankful that I got more money to put towards Europe!!!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
One of our community mates decided to take pictures of us and they are below. I have to say I am glad I wore them cause one guy who asked me to dance said that when he saw me from across the room with hearts coming out of my eyes he had to dance with me bahahahahahah.
.........This is sadly the smoothest line I have ever heard. (Also the guy was a friend so the comment, weirdly enough, did not make me feel as creeped out as it should have)
If you think I look awkward in this picture you should see me dance. Awkward and uncomfortable have been two ways people have described how my dancing makes them feel. (you think I would stop disgracing myself by now....but nope I thrive on public humiliation)
When the DJ started blowing bubbles into the crowd the first thing we did was run to pop them
.......and no I am not kidding.
As of now my roomies and i are comprising a list of why we don't have friends at EA and this instance ranks #4 (the full list will be disclosed at a later blog)
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
1. Baseball players are vile
2. Football players are cursed with a limited vocabulary made up of swear words.
3. And a lot of creepy people fill the need to come to the game room.
My latest creepy/scary person to come in got mad at me cause I would not give him pool when he didn't have his required I.D. and this is what he said to me.
Me: "Sorry my boss already got mad at the staff for letting people play without there I.D's
Scary man: "So are you going to sue you're boss when something bad happens to you." (said with a smile on his face)
Me: (nervous laughter) ha ha.....maybe.
I swear I have daily run ins with the future Serial Killers of America
Friday, January 15, 2010
This wondrous turn of events has gotten me through the fact that mon/wed/friday will consist of classes from 8 IN THE MORNING to 3 P.M (what is this, high school!) and Tues/Thurs will be filled with an 1 1/2 hours of an intensive writing class and a three hour Bio lab and then I get to finish my days with 3 hours filled with all the crazy weirdo’s who come into the game room….but I digress. I can get through any amount of classes as long as I don’t have to come home to a psychopathic serial killer who watches me while I sleep.
These last couple of days has been a little bit overwhelming, but thanks to my wonderful teachers I have had a brilliant go at it. Here are some examples of how my teachers have made my days better.
1.My Physics teacher is this tiny lady with the most amazing Indian accent, which make sense cause she is from India (it’s like she just walked off the set of Indianan Jones and the Temple of Doom). Well she starts telling us of all the cool labs we’ll be doing and one of the will consist of us making authentic Indian food and that’s when a girl in my class says this
Girl: “I love fry Bread,”
Teacher from India: “um…..I’m from India.”
Me:” bahahahahahahaha”.(here’s your sign)
2.In my Biology class a kid walks in ten minutes late and my teacher says……
Teacher: Welcome to Calculus
Freaked out Kid: ........(says nothing just simple turns around and leaves)
3.I go into my English 222 class and my teacher tells us that we will be writing an in-class essay and another student asks this.
Student:”How long should our essay be”
Teacher: “A good in class essay is like a Kilt or a ladies skirt, it needs to be long enough to cover the subject, but short enough to maintain interest.”
This my side of the room, and it is what you see when you walk in.
This is the vacant area ha ha. That desk is my study desk and the extra bed is our movie area.
This is where my Luv Sac resides and where I read all my books :)
This is our pantry where we use the extra closet for food storage and also put our refrigerators in here.
This is my entertainment desk where I.....entertain myself by browsing the Internet and watching t.v.
And finally this is my BED! Where I get to sleep and not have to worry about being watched by a butch girl who wanders at night.