Monday, June 3, 2013

Working 9 to 5 (sort of)

Today was my first day of work at my new job. Which is excited when you think about, or at least it’s supposed to be, after all this is my first adult move. Now you may be doing the math in your head. She graduated in December. It’s June. What has she been doing for 6 months? 

Well let me tell you, absolutely nothing. Nothing! I simply existed in beautiful nothingness and it was quite lovely. My days were spent by the pool sipping my sonic half priced drink and catching up on the latest books. But not today, today I entered the work force sleep deprived and suffering from a bad case of laziness.

I realize I have yet to introduce my job ahem after months of living in and out of interviews, being called everything from ungodly to amazing, I accepted a job at University of Phoenix as an Enrollment Counselor!

Doesn’t that sound all grown up to you. No? Well I’m working on it.

So after my 6 months living as a very happy hermit I was a tad nervous to have responsibilities extending beyond making my bed. And to make matters worse I have a long history of bad first days. Days that consist of harming a small child, being called an imbecile, and trying to talk my boss out of hiring me. That being said,  my mantra for the day was "pull it together Patterson, you've already spent your first paycheck."

I arrived at work a full 15 min early and just in time to prepare myself for introductions (it seems like you never really escape having to sum up your life in a sentence). Soon the room was filled and the intros began. There were the chatty cathys that can’t help but recite their past 10 years of life experiences, the people with a masters, the people with two masters, the people working on a PhD, and me…achieving nothing, feeling like this

After intros, we began the training from 7:30-4:30. I must have blocked out how miserable working 8 hours is because I certainly cannot remember hating life to this degree. The day soon became one of those experiences that is so bad it’s almost spiritual. I could probably whip it into an inspiring sacrament talk someday.

Speaking of sacrament, for some odd reason after I announced my recent attendance at BYU I had several people come up to me and start the exact same conversation. All of them first confirmed I went to BYU then glancing side to side leaned forward and whispered “are you Mormon?”


Very strange to say the least. 

In conclusion: I have a job! I am no longer a dirty little moocher. HUZZAH!