Wednesday, June 15, 2011


For some strange reason people think I look like...well everybody.

Marisa Brown and I have been told on several occasions that we look like sisters. I can kind of see where they're going with this: tall, brunette, lacking in deformities. But the funniest comment came from our Hawaiian friends who thought we were identical twins and sometimes it was hard for them to tell us apart.....okay, have they not seen the furry animal currently residing on my head, that should distinguish me from the greater portion of the population.

Sandra Bullock: This is the most bizarre and untrue. Though it did up this girls status from
friend to best friend instantly.

Natalie Portman: I've had two girls say randomly I look like Natalie Portman. This makes me feel bad for Natalie Portman.....

Jessica Alba: This semester I was at a dance and this girl came up to me and said. "Do you know the first time I saw you I thought, she looks just like Jessica Alba." I really don't think this source counts because A). she was foreign and B) she was foreign.

Bella Swan: This is the strangest one I've ever gotten and it's happened twice. I've been told that I look like Bella Swan...not Kirsten Stuart, Bella Swan. I didn't even know it was possible to look like a fictional character...

Julia Roberts: Anna Herring has been convinced since we were little kids that I look like Julia Roberts. I'm convinced the only connection I have to this star is I am currently sporting her 80's do.

Alexis Vega: This is the one that bothers me the most. A girl from my last ward was positive that I looked just like that girl off of spy kids....I've never been so offended.

Emmy Rossum: But the one comment I hear all the time is "You look just like that girl off that one movie"
Me: "Phantom of the Opera"
Them: "ya"

This one is my favorite because I get to do things like convince my nieces and nephews that I am the girl off Phantom of the Opera and that's why they haven't seen me for so long (college shmollege). Though Nicholas is skeptical, I have Audrey and Sarah in the bag.

Ok, I've saved the best for last. A week ago I was visiting Kelly and I met a guy at her apartment. After I left the guy was asking Kelly who her friend was, you know the African American girl standing in the corner..

O come on, there is no way I look African American. When Kelly asked if it was because of my hair he said no.

I guess I just have one of those faces....

The Curly Purple People Eater

In an attempt to look nice for Adam's wedding I decided to dye my hair. I took great care in finding the best and least harmful hair dye. I even made extra sure I picked a color I had tried before just to avoid any catastrophe.

So of course my hair ended up purple. Purple.

The best part is I did it at one in the morning so there was no time to fix this fax pas. It's a good thing no one sees me at work. Oh wait I'm a secretary who interacts with dozens of people a day. Awesome.

I literally can't look in the mirror. Every time I do my thoughts shift rapidly between thinking it's flippin awesome to sport purple hair to being utterly horrified.

This afternoon I reached a calm where I convinced myself everything would be okay and I didn't look that bad. And then this conversation completely crushed the fake confidence I had spent hours building.

Fellow secretary: "Were you so embarrassed to come to work today?"


Fellow secretary: " but really, did you just scream when you first looked in the mirror"


But seriously, she has a point.

I look like an Anime cartoon.

I'm every Japanese boy's dream girl

At this point I was even desperate enough to tell my mom of my idiotic mistake. What followed was sarcasm and the comment "it's hard to support stupidity." Thanks mom.

So with no help from the fam I sent a desperate text to Kelly asking if she could ask her sister, Lynnette, a certified beautician to help me.

Three hours later we were on our way to a a professional salon store to buy dye, the only problem is I needed cash. Second problem, my gas station has a 10 dollar cash back policy...

One slurpee, a bag of sunflower seeds, and two peaches later we are on our way.

After we grabbed the new dye we took tons of pictures to capture this moment of pure hilariousity.

Now my hair is a normal shade of black. Ok, it's not the most normal look for me, but right now my normal is anything that doesn't match a my little pony do.

Who knew I would have so much in common with Lane Kim.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Rage and Prejudice

Ladies, this is called a reality check.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Nerd Alert

For the past couple of weeks my nights have been filled with adventures of the highest kind. This is a huge shift from the summers of days gone by when my nights were spent reading through adventures lived by other people. Not to say I didn't have fun in my youth, but that fun was restricted to July when cousins and chocolate milkshakes were in abundance and the thought of chores was a distant memory.

However the months leading up to and following July were a time where slavery was legal in the Patterson home and friends were scarce. People still don't believe me when I recount the chores I was subjected to such as scrubbing floor boards with a tooth brush and polishing the walls. Anyhoo.... The point of this stroll down memory lane is to explain that I used to read...a lot

But recently I have stopped reading all together...shocking right. I don't really believe it either, how I could go from averaging 3 to 7 books a week to I fear that at any moment the English department is going to kick me out for my crimes against the program.

I'm even ashamed to admit I have lived in Provo for 10 months and I still don't have a library card...disgraceful right.

Well that all changed last night. I got home and my roommates were no where to be found, so in a state of complete isolation I asked myself "what would old Lora do if she were bored" and then it hit me "she would go to the library....and then she would go buy chocolate."

So that is exactly what I did and I am happy to say I not only stripped the library of all their new arrivals, but I have consumed a bag of my very favorite chocolates. Pure giddiness does not describe how happy I was last night and that's when I realized I am really really really weird. It shocks me that I made it through school without being pumbled on a daily basis.

And on that note I would like to give a shout out of gratitude to all those who have stood by me in my crazed obsession with the written word and have never once attempted to give me a swirly. I know that having to listen as I relayed the plot of my newest book may not have been the funnest thing for you to bear, but you guys endured it like champs.