I should really try harder to concentrate

Classes can be an environment filled with stimulating conversation and hours of learning...they can also be really boring.

I find that I can make a typical class period quite amusing if I engage in immature behavior and thought.

1. Introductions: We are all invited to introduce ourselves and name something about us. A boy named Adam introduces himself and boasts of his ability to shove a two-inch nail up his nose. He then proceeds to demonstrate.

I wonder what amount of brain function he has sacrificed for his craft.

Adam has now put himself on the map as a stud.

2. Class discussion: The teacher poses a question and watches as students climb, push, and jump over each others ideas trying desperately to prove the validity of their own.

The boy next to me makes a rather clever comment.

I check the left hand.

Ring...aahhh typical.

I bet Adam doesn’t have a ring. I check...nope.

I pop my gum, the girl next to me glares.

I have discovered a wonderful new game.

I let off a set of quiet machine gun pops.

She glowers.

I avoid her eyes and quickly resume my studious position:

• Chin in hand
• Head tilted
• Eyes squinted ever so slightly
• Nod programmed to go off every 2 min.

Pop.

Hatred darts out of her eyes.

I giggle inside.

She cracks her knuckles. Oh, how I detest cracking knuckles.

She smiles.

War is declared.

The bell rings...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So I’ve been reading through my past posts of 2010 and I notice a definite theme; anger, sarcasm, fake happiness that masks underlying bitter feelings.....

Ok confession I really didn’t noticed this it was brought to my attention by my mom who said and I quote, “Lora I read Anna’s blog and it’s so happy and uplifting and then I get to yours and its so sarcastic and angry.”

I’m thinking mommy dearest missed out on the parenting class that tells you to not compare your children to other kids..... It’s just down right hurtful.

Yes I get that my post are not filled with rainbows and unicorns, but it’s not MY fault that I'm only inspired by my shortcomings in life. Though I did think about making a goal to be a more positive person….but then I realized how upset I would be when that fell through.

So here’s to yet another year filled with bitter posts from a frizzy haired girl ☺

Finals.....

Finals are BYU’s way of saying “you really don’t want to go to Hell, cause it’s sort of like this…except for eternity.”

Yup that’s all I’m going to say about finals.

P.S How many times can you say "I'd rather be skinned alive and rolled in salt" before it becomes redundant?

Who needs good health anyway....

I'm sick....again.

It's the final countdown and instead of mad essay writing and test taking I'm sniffling, coughing, and overdosing on NyQuil.

It's official, my immune system is freakishly good at hide and go seek.

Life as a Hamster

This weekend our ward decided to have a Turkey Bowl. Which meant I got to make a fool of myself playing football. You would assume that because I'm from a sporty family I would have picked up some talent....but no. I'm not even a good runner, or as Kyle would put it, "You look like you should be fast...but you're deceptively slow."

I'm basically good at three things; reading, devouring sweets, and scrapbooking.

It's like I'm 80 already.



Anyhoo, we played football and my team won! But the fun really began when a guy brought a giant orb to the activity! We put the orb on a steep hill and everyone lined up for their turned to be strapped to the inside and rolled down the hill. Now you would think because I'm scared of heights, being out of control, and tight sweaty spaces that this is something I would not do. But you see I have this problem where I think every adventure is fun and exciting and it's not until I'm mid swing off a cliff, halfway through a haunted house, or strapped to the inside of a ball do I remember how terrified I am of everything.





My roommate Kelsi decided to go in it with me and this is one of the funnest things we've ever done. We were hysterically laughing down the entire hill and by the time we came to a stop, we were down right giddy. If any of you have the chance to do this go for it!

Tricky Mormons

Subtle Subliminal messages brought to you by BYU



As I was walking through campus I stumbled upon this and thought, "Wow it would be nice to find a fellow, get married, and have my own family"

And that's when it hit me. "Hey wait a second! This is what BYU wants me to think!"

How dare they Jedi mind trick me like that!

You know what! I bet they strategically place those mothers playing with their cutsy kids around campus just to insure that parenthood is all we'll be thinking about. It's a conspiracy!

Well not this student. I refuse to fall victim to your clever tricks!

P.S. I still can't help thinking how cute having a little girl with curly hair would be....dang BYU!

P.P.S Let it be known this was written past midnight, a time where sanity starts to wane and paranoia/hysteria takes over.

Unicorns in Hell

Last night I found this flyer outside my house and I couldn't breathe for a good 3 minutes due to intense bouts of laughter.

MISSING



STOLEN UNICORN COSTUME
NO REWARD!!!
I don't even want the costume back. I made these flyers to tell you that I hate you costume thief. I hope it looks good on you in Hell!

Mario Brothers in Real Life

Life at BYU is like a giant game of Mario Brothers. All of us start out as big Mario, bopping turtles, leaping over sudden pit falls, and charging past the weird flowers that spit fire at us.

Turtles= exams and tests

The falls= all the times we can fail

The flowers = the teachers that aren’t really aiming at us, but it’s not like they’re stopping their rain of fire.

As Mario’s we have a limited amount of lives before we experience complete meltdowns that strip us of our joy and leave us crying in the fetal position. For the past two months I have been living the life of a small Mario who is scorched, broken, and regular victimized by turtles.



That all changed this week

Not only have I grown full size with a nifty cape, but I even hit that invincibility star that surrounds me with sparkles and gives me the power to kill every last one of those vicious turtles.



In essence I am a happy Mario riding his very own yoshi.

Now I’m going to list some of the major lucky things that have happened this week and you will listen :)

I got a 100% on my Brit Lit Paper revision

I found out that I did NOT in fact fail my American Lit test like I thought, but got an A!!!!

I also got and A on my presentation in American Lit! BooYa!

I was able to retake my D&C test and I got an A!

My ASL class was canceled and I took a nap instead

Every night I walk into my house exhausted while my roommate asks, “Lora would you like to eat (insert delicious meal here)” to which I respond, “Why yes, yes I would.”

My visiting teachers brought over a pan of brownies and we make homemade ice cream to go with them.

The MTC wants to put me up for a Promotion to Supervisor after only a month of work.

After my Wednesday shift at the MTC they gave us all a free meal and let us have as much BYU creamery ice cream as we wanted.

I stopped making an idiot of myself in my sign language tutoring sessions and I'm actually pretty legit now!

I got an interview at the Eyring Science building for a secretary job

I got a call back to interview again for this job because, according to the lady, “My references were amazing and my past bosses loved me.”

I GOT THE JOB!!!

A few of the tasks I’ll HAVE to be doing is trying out dessert recipes, eating cookies, and scrapbooking. IS THIS REAL LIFE! The job only gives me 10 hours right now, but it reduces my MTC shifts from 6 to two and come December I get 20 hours and can officially burn all those atrocious hats.

And this week is not over. Skylar is coming this weeked and I have made plans for us to sleep in, go shopping, and eat at Olive Garden and J dogs. Plus next week Jill is coming to have crazy Halloween fun at haunted houses!

All of this adds up to uncontrollable giddiness.

If I knew how to spell the sound the game makes when Mario finishes a level I would insert it right now….but I don’t so use your imagination.

Failing BYU Is a Slow and Excruciating Process...

The lesson I Learned Today:

The Relationship between student and teacher is equivalent to pond scum and an olympic gymnast who doesn't even go near ponds.

How I Learned This Lesson:

Silly me,I decided I would write my essay and in some miraculous feat it would be deemed acceptable by the academic world…I was sadly mistaken.

See I came from a world where teachers brought students pizza, and donuts, and would tell hilarious jokes involving men and kilts. They graded on effort not ability, and I welcomed this system like ice cream after a 5 mile run. I didn’t realize that at evil places (BYU!) teachers wanted you to put in a good 20 hours per paper even though you only allotted 4 hours to the project.

So I took my paper in to discuss it with my teacher on Wednesday(a whole two days before it was due)and as I walked into her office I was immediately assaulted by a wall of books. Yes, I realize I also own a ton of books, but the main difference between our collections is mine consists of happy go lucky frivolous reads filled with lolly pops and rainbows………and each of hers weighed more than my head with titles I couldn't pronounce.

My palms began to moisten when I handed her my paper and saw the plaque containing the words Doctorate and NOTRE DAME!

(The Plaque was written in Latin, WHAT. I have to say I like my Latin like I like my zombies, to stay dead.)

Then she started reading it while I started to sweat profusely. And as my words and opinions were shredded and demolished before my eyes I slowly started to shrink in stature until I was drowning in the puddles created by my very own tears and perspiration.

When she was done I quickly gathered up the pieces of my ill-conceived thoughts and ideas and removed my moisture sodden pride from her disappointed eyes, apologizing for ever subjecting her to the excruciating experience that was reading my paper.

Things That Make Me Giggle:

1. A guy riding on a scooter

2. Two guys riding on a scooter

3. Floral hair arrangements (yes, a flower can look cute in your hair girls, but lets not get carried away. A garden noggin is not a fashion statement!)

4. The big words the other english students while I contemplate buying a dictionary.

5. Single adult dances *snort*

6. Guys comments on my walking speed. (it's not my fault my femur bone is freakishly long, it simple gets me to places faster.)

7. Kyle yelling, "you're not black," as a walk by with my headphones in.

8. Having a 20 lb bag of ketchup spill on me and the MTC carpet. (this moment fully captured me in all my glory)

9. Guys in Skinny jeans and v-neck shirts. Why? because it's gross and, frankly, a little gay.

10. Getting text messages from my brother Adam saying, "have you got any yet?" Well Adam, have fun explaining to mom what that sentence means.