I don't know if you've ever taken a gander at my feet, but they are simply atrocious. Here's a picturesque description; utterly flat, slightly vainy, lanky toes, and giant bunions....gross eh. I sure didn't win the gene pool lottery with these ugly whoopers.
{Mine are on the right}
I remember my mom even told me to never show a guy my feet because, apparently, that would be reason enough to dump me. Point taken, what guy would want to pass this gene onto their children {I avoid guys with lazy eyes for the same reason}.
Needless to say shoes are like the oil to my feets water and although I've been aware shoes resistance to handle my feet with care I had no idea shoes hate ran so deep. After many years of growing suspicion, I finally uncovered the secret plot of all shoes to destroy their ugliness. And in complete and utter betrayal my very own shoes have followed suit and conspired to kill off my poor feet.
Every shoe's job has been discovered; flats are over the smashing of my bunions {Should a lady ever mention the word bunions in relation to herself...probably not sigh}to the point of nonrecognition, flip flops supervise the digging of tiny straps into the bony tops of my feet, and heals have full control over punishing my feet for never being built to arch.
The sad thing is I keep buying different shoes in hopes that one day a pair will take pity on my Quasimodo feet. And on that day I won't have to fight the common urge to strip barefoot and scamper across campus as a free woman.
But today is not that day and so, just like the many days before it, my feet are aching and there's nothing I can do about it.
Anyone up for giving me a foot massage :)
...ya I wouldn't do it either.
1 comment:
have you tried Converse? They are classy and maybe just what you need. Good luck with that thought.
Post a Comment