Today was my first day of work at my new job. Which is
excited when you think about, or at least it’s supposed to be, after all this
is my first adult move. Now you may be doing the math in your head. She
graduated in December. It’s June. What has she been doing for 6 months?
Well let
me tell you, absolutely nothing. Nothing! I simply existed in beautiful nothingness
and it was quite lovely. My days were spent by the pool sipping my sonic half
priced drink and catching up on the latest books. But not today, today I
entered the work force sleep deprived and suffering from a bad case of
laziness.
I realize I have yet to introduce my job ahem after months
of living in and out of interviews, being called everything from ungodly to amazing, I accepted a job at University of Phoenix as an Enrollment Counselor!
Doesn’t that sound all grown up to you. No? Well I’m working
on it.
So after my 6 months
living as a very happy hermit I was a tad nervous to have responsibilities
extending beyond making my bed. And to make matters worse I have a long history
of bad first days. Days that consist of harming a small child, being called an
imbecile, and trying to talk my boss out of hiring me. That being said, my mantra for the day was "pull it
together Patterson, you've already spent your first paycheck."
I arrived at work a full 15 min early and just in time to
prepare myself for introductions (it seems like you never really escape having
to sum up your life in a sentence). Soon the room was filled and the intros
began. There were the chatty cathys that can’t help but recite their past 10 years of life experiences, the people with a masters, the people with two
masters, the people working on a PhD, and me…achieving nothing, feeling like
this
After intros, we began the training from 7:30-4:30. I must
have blocked out how miserable working 8 hours is because I certainly cannot
remember hating life to this degree. The day soon became one of those
experiences that is so bad it’s almost spiritual. I could probably whip it into an
inspiring sacrament talk someday.
Speaking of sacrament, for some odd reason after I announced
my recent attendance at BYU I had several people come up to me and start the
exact same conversation. All of them first confirmed I went to BYU then glancing
side to side leaned forward and whispered “are you Mormon?”
“Yes?”
Very strange to say the least.
In conclusion: I have a job! I am no longer a dirty little
moocher. HUZZAH!
