Saturday, February 12, 2011

The Valentine's Dance

So I never post about dating, dates, or guys in general. Mostly because I have a tendency to be malicious and exaggerate in my writing and I don’t think it’s fair to sic me and the written word on any guy….but I’m making an exception.

The preceding is a fictional story based on real events written in this manner to disguise and protect the leading characters.

Boy asks girl to dance.

Girl is blind-sighted and her friends are absolutely no help at all

Two songs later and she is still with the boy…..friends are quite useless

Guy delivers monologue that includes a list of accomplishments and attributes that would make him an excellent candidate for “the boyfriend". Basically your typical resume rundown; med-school, writer, athletic, blah blah blah....

Girl tries to make herself as unattractive as possible by listing reading as her hobby of choice (it really does ax every conversation)

Guy tries to teach awkward girl how to dance. A series of jumps and dips solidify her as the most graceless dancer there.

Guy then pulls out a stack of 3X5 index cards and a pencil and asks the dreaded question

So she does what any nice Mormon girl would do….she gives him her number…

The end

Instances like this raise so many questions;

Was the guy ever afraid his pencil would stab him during our swing lesson?

Why did he have a stack of 3X5 cards in his pocket?

Is my name and number now on file?

And if so what is his organizing technique; a for "awkward", c for "curly hair", or t for "will bear you tall children"?

But my main question is, why does meeting people have to be so weird? Don't get me wrong, I love an awkward situation just as much as the next girl, but I'm starting to think that bouts of laughter should not follow every interaction you have with a guy....but I have to say it sure makes life entertaining.

Anyhoo, Happy Valentine's Day!!!