A New Blog

William Hazlitt argued that books act as "links in the chain of our conscious being. They bind together the different scattered visions of our personal identity." And that quote completely encompasses how I view literature. I am a piece of everything I have every read.

When I stand in front of my books I see my entire identity spread before me. There lies my history, a record of my happiest moments and my saddest. And every book not only shapes how I view and process the world, but they store the memories of every time I turned to them for… well, anything. My poor copies of Ella Enchanted and Harry Potter have probably suffered the most damage, but they were always there when I needed them. Mostly because they didn’t have a choice.

The bottom line is that like Ray Bradbury I will forever “lurk in libraries and climb the stacks like ladders to sniff books like perfume” because I can’t exist without literature and I don’t even want to try.

In honor of this maddening love Ms. Kelly Badger and I have decided to start a new blog dedicated to reading. So if you are interested in discovering new amazing books to read, feel free to follow us from a safe distance

It's called Kelly and Lora Reading and here's the link.

Post Grad

Welp, I’m a college graduate living in Mesa trying to mold my life into something more than a one way street to never leaving my bed and forever mooching off my siblings.

If you really want to get a behind the scenes peek into my life watch Post Grad. Alexis and I are pretty much living twinsy lives… except I don’t have the amazing internships at famous publishing houses, a crazed family, or two attractive men vying for my affection BUT other than that it’s basically the same.

I mean come on, we're both recent college graduates with a degree in English and a love for Literature. AND we're both unemployed and desperately trying to find the perfect job. It's a bit uncanny if I do say so myself. 

Anyhoo, this pre-documentary on my life inspires me to not be so disappointed that things aren’t happily-ever-after quite yet. Though technically Alexis got her happily-ever-after relatively quickly (88 minutes to be exact), but I do believe the movie spans a summer of suffering so I guess I only have three more months of interviews and rejection. Pip pip, here we go!

What I really learned from her experiences is that even if I did get an amazing job at a publishing house I would throw it away just to be with my guy. SO I don’t even have to worry about not having that position since I would quit anyways to go into the New York sunset with my…oh right. Details details.

P.S This movie also shows that if you ever have the chance to get with a hotty Brazilian go for it, that’s what I’ve always done…

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the college graduate

I’m officially done with college. I don’t know if I should celebrate or dramatically wander around the JFSB sobbing uncontrollably. I wonder if they would sic security on me. I almost want to try just to see.

Tuesday afternoon I had my first final. It was for my Poe and Hitchcock class and instead of a standard test we stood in front of our class while they questioned us about our final essays. I believed this would be better than a final. I was wrong. Instead of getting out at 3:00 like I estimated, we stumbled out at 5:00.

On Wednesday I had my Russian lit final at 7:00 in the morning. Just let that sink in. By the time I had successfully bundled up the sun still hadn’t come out. So I trudged my way to campus and realized something, I love walking to school without the sun glaring over the mountain. First of all, it’s dark. Second, no one’s out so I don’t feel rude ignoring people. And third, it’s dark.

When I hit the ramp I fell into step right behind the neon clad tyrant from my first semester. It was quite poetic as I followed the glow of his bright purple jeans all the way to the basement of the JFSB. Well, poetic and kinda creepy on my part.

Today was my last final and it was for my Senior Course. We had to do a 20 min presentation on the senior thesis we've been working on all semester. This paper is supposed to be the best thing we’ve ever written. No pressure or anything. I still haven’t turned my essay in. I don’t want to talk about it…

I've spent my life thinking about what this moment would mean for me. I've always heard that graduating is wonderful because you finally can do whatever you want. That’s a lie. I would rather spend my days with literary geniuses trying desperately to keep up with their lectures and my nights eating and laughing with my friends.

I didn't mean for this post to take such a negative turn. Let me start over.

I’m done! No more hours spent studying obscure references in hopes that I can find that one quote that proves my entire argument. No more restless nights worrying over thesis statements and concluding arguments. And no more editing classes, thank goodness.

Now I get to kick back and relax…

Well that moment was nice. Now I need to get a job. They hire English majors right?

Provo vs. Mesa

I am entering the final moments in the fourth quarter of my game of higher education. You would think I would have a game plan, something snappy or clever or really anything at all. But that’s not my style. I like to let the audience sweat. I like to make them believe I don’t know what I’m doing. And I have to tell you, my performance is rather convincing.

So convincing that my brother Adam—in total concern for my well being—called last night to remind me that I only have one month left to get married before I leave ol BYU.

This idea takes me back to my freshman year when people said is was IMPOSSIBLE to get out of EAC as a single person. And the very idea of leaving BYU without a ring was inconceivable  

I like to believe I stayed single on purpose, but more than likely I just never got around to it.

It’s not like I want to be married right now, but I have to say, it would help in the decision process. Just last week I went to a career counselor for humanities majors to decide where the best opportunities for me were. Instead the session started with this question “Is there a boy” and lead to a 30 minute discussion on how my decision should work around where my husband is. Awesome

I plan to not do that {though he did bring up some great points on the advantages of marring rich}

Now I only have one week before I need to decide for sure. Here are my options: Provo or Mesa. And knowing my obsessive love for lists, here is a list of the pros and cons.

Provo

Pros:

1. I love it here
2. I love my room
3. I love my roommates/friends
4. I know my ward
5. I don’t want to have to pack up all my stuff (yes laziness will factor in).
6. I’ve recently discovered the best antique book store nearby {I want to live there} 

Cons:

1. My friends will be leaving within the year.
2.  I don’t want to be one of those people who are afraid to leave Provo so they just stick around pretending they’re still in college.
3. I feel my life becoming stagnate here. 

Mesa

Pros:

1. I get to live within 2 minutes of three of my siblings
2. Most of my extended family lives there.
3. I love Mesa and I know the area
4. There are more opportunities there
5. No snow 

Cons:

1. I have to start over
2. I’ll miss all my friends
3. I will have to be the new kid in the ward
4. I don’t function well in city traffic and frankly I fear for my passengers
5. No snow (I have a hard time deciding if I hate snow or not) 

All of this life planning I’ve been doing has made me realize that I shouldn't be in charge of anyone’s life, least of all mine. 

"A woman must have money and room of her own if she is to write fiction." Virginia Woolf

For the past four years of college I have shared a room. And I’ve come to one conclusion: I hate sharing a room. Hate hate hate, loath entirely. This is why: 

1. I have a DEATHLY FEAR of being watched while I sleep. I will mummify my face with blankets before I let someone see me.
2. I’m not a morning person. In fact, if you see me in the mornings, don’t say anything, it will only fuel my disgust with life and with you.
3. I need my own space. I grew up in my own space, and it’s the only place I can regenerate after a day surrounded by people. And you really don’t want to be around me if I don’t have some time alone.  

SOOO I decided that this year was going to be different. I was going to get my own corner of the world. A place where I could lock the door and read and write and breathe undisturbed. This dream, unlike many of my other dreams, came true.

 In August, I inherited the corner room in my house. It is warm, sunny, and most importantly, private. Sure I still have 8 roommates, and yes my room has thin walls and an intricate ventilation system that carries my embarrassingly loud laughter to every corner in the place, BUT it’s still my own. 

The most interesting thing about my room is the unwanted advantage it gives me to listen in on private conversations. A memorable experience was the time a boy had a complete breakdown outside my bedroom window. I just lied in my bed, unable to stop his passionate and tear-filled phone call to his best friend. But I agree with his buddy, his ex-girlfriend sounds like a real flooz. 

Other than the unwanted Rear Window action I encounter, I really love my room. I love the knickknacks that have no purpose, I love my bed overflowing with feather pillows and blankets, but more than anything I love my bookshelves filled with my favorites.

Anyhoo, I now realize that I need my own room always. I don’t know what that means for my husband. I can’t help feeling that if the kings and queens of old could make separate sleeping areas work, so can we. Although I’d rather avoid the whole getting your head chopped off aspect of those marriages. 

Senioritis

I was ambitious when I started this semester

I was...

And yes, my hair is getting shorter...and blonder. No, I have neither cut nor dyed it.  

Ultimately Ridiculous

In the last post I mentioned the introductions we all have to make on the first day of class. The one introduction that I did not mention, mostly because it didn’t fit my purpose, was Charley's. While everyone else was listing their accomplishments, dream careers, and inner most secrets, this is what he said.

Charley: Hi my name’s Charley and I love ultimate Frisbee”

Me: BOOOOOOO OOOOO OOOO O O O

Oh how I wish booing was socially acceptable, then Charley could have felt the soft rumble of shame flow over him and sink into his very being.

But seriously, ultimate Frisbee? Really, that’s all you have to say about yourself. 

Since when did this game become a life defining attribute? Or better yet, when did this become the bees knees of all college sports? Does adding ultimate to a simple game you used to play with your dog all of sudden make it not only a sport, but a central figure in your existence?

It’s not that I hate this game. I don’t. But if you look at the descriptions of the stereotypical players that make up an Ultimate Frisbee game, you’ll see I just don’t fit the Ultimate type:

• 
  

  The Tools - 5 guys who are WAY too into it and even find tackling and fist pumping acceptable. These are the same guys who refuse to pass to anyone who hasn’t logged at least 5 years practicing for this asinine sport. 

• Sporty Chicks – the athletic girls who the tools are vying for because they too are awesome at Ultimate

• The girls- The other girls who showed up because they like the tools mentioned above. These girls have limited experience and are content to merely run back in forth in tight clothing

• The Nice Guys - the guys who cheer on the girls that continue to drop the Frisbee. These guys have a healthy relationship with ultimate and people actually respect them.

As you can see, Loralike figures slip through the cracks. But more than anything I’m not deeply invested in having a plastic sliver chucked at my face and if I do happen to gasp drop the elusive devil, I’d rather not be glared at by a blur of faces as I run back down the field.

I have to say I’d rather play a lively game of ultimate eating, or ultimate reading, or even ultimate movie watching with a bowl of m&m’s mixed with popcorn. I would own at those games. 

So yes, I do turn away from this current obsession that has infected the entire BYU student body. And no, I don’t think you should proudly proclaim it as the one defining feature in your life.

But if you do happen to have a hankering for some pointless good ol fashion running about, please do try to broaden your horizons and find other ways to define yourself. And above all, don’t be a tool. They may win in Ultimate, but they lose in life. That’s a lie, they’ll probably succeed in life, marry, and produce more toolish spawn. But will they be happy!? Yeah, they probably will. Huh, that really makes you think about the positives of being a decent human being…

Anyhoo. 

My Last Semester!

My first week of school was interesting to say the least. See this summer I had come up with 4 different life possibilities and there were several schedules, pros and cons lists, and even some intense charts that I could show you that went into my decision making process, but I won’t put you through that. Just know that I had no idea when I was graduating and what I was graduating in and that resulted in me spending my first week going to far too many classes whilst juggling my job and internship.

In order for you to get a real perspective of this week I’m going to lay it out, all nitty gritty style. I have no idea what that means, but here we go!

Monday:

Goal: Go to Russian Novel in English, Basic Editing Skills, Writing for Adolescence, Film and Lit, work and Senior Course.

Russian Novel in English – Why did no one mention sooner that there were lit classes that were chalk full with guys? Typical that I finally find it just as I’m entering my senior year, but seriously, this class needs to start advertising. Though the 8 Russian novel course load may deter some...

Writing for Adolescence – Skipped and got a biting email from teacher. Forever changed my perspective on children's lit writers.

Basic Editing – Sweated profusely throughout

Film and Lit – A two hour class where we study the relationship between Poe and Hitchcock. Who wouldn't want to be in this class. Note: get energy drinks, must not fall asleep during movies.

Senior Course – Focus on Ben Jonson and the economy of 1600 Briti…..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Work –  Minor argument with lady who won’t accept the fact that her introduction paragraph sucks. Note: don’t use suck in future tutoring sessions…kidding…sort of.

The first day of class is always hilarious to me because in every class they have you introduce yourselves and say something interesting about you. I’m sure many kids look forward to this. Those kids are probably the ones that said things like this “Hi, I used to be a figure skater” or “I lived in China for 10 years” or they probably just got back from an amazing summer interning at Newsweek or Penguin Publishing House. You even have the ones that say “I just got married” and all I think is “No, I will not clap for that.”

By the time they get to me all I want to say is that I used to be a Russian Gymnast that immigrated to the U.S to be a published author and in the process fell madly in love and married a wealthy Italian diplomat’s son. 

Also, I can moon walk.

That oughta do it.

Tuesday: 

Goal: Start internship, try out a new Senior Course, and go to work and Print Publishing

Internship –  Working with a curator in special collection organizing famous author’s materials. Day’s awesome level just went up 3 points.

Work – Answered emails

Print Publishing – Two hour class and the teacher made us stay 20 minutes after. Not pleased.

Senior Course – Emphasis on city life. I hope it’s better than ol Benny. They asked everyone if they lived in a city and if they wanted to. I said I lived in a town with no street lights and I liked it. They laughed. I wrote this post instead of paying attention and I drew a picture of the country side. Picture not included, I’m not an artist. Note: apologize to Ben and hope he lets me back in to his class.

Wednesday:

Goal-  Russian Novel in English, Writing for Adolescence, Basic Editing, Film and Lit, Tutoring, and I’m back in Ben’s version of the Senior course

Russian Novel in English –  It’s raining men…and depressing literature. I loved every second of it.

Basic Editing – um... no thank you.

Writing for Adolescence – Teacher called for our character descriptions of ourselves. Of course I didn’t do it. Quickly located my online journal and snagged an entry from two years ago and read it out loud. It wasn’t great, but I didn’t get a nasty email this time, so all in all a good day.

Film and Lit – Awesome

Senior Course – Learned how I was going to take over the world. Everyone should be frightened.

Tutoring Class – Skipped

Work – Same ol same ol

Writing for Adolescence – Went to a different version of writing for adolescence. The teacher is a famous published author which makes me believe the three hour class is worth it. Dropped other children’s lit class.

This was the day I went and saw my counselor. First, I should tell you that she terrifies me. Terrifies me! I asked her if it was possible to graduate in December. She said it was if I dropped editing, then she proceeded to drop my minor before I could stop her. I guess I’m no longer an editing minor?

BUT I’m graduating! And I finalized my semester. I do believe this is the first time in my life that I actually know what I’m doing. It’s amazing and terrifying all at the same time.

Now I just need to figure out my after graduation plans. Who wants to house a poor college graduate!? 

My Last Semester?

Summer is gone and there is nothing I can do about it. Since I regularly describe my life through others’ words, I do believe that this quote aptly explains my last four months.

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life,” -Twain.                                                              

Yes those months were ideal, but alas they are over and I am in for a rude awakening. This semester is when I finally have to decide what I’m doing with my life. So far, my indecision has left me taking far too many classes that may never actually pay off. This week alone consists of me hauling my out of shape body to 10 + classes in hopes that I can choose five that I want to take. And that work load is on top of an internship and a part time job. Should be super…

In lieu of this class schedule from Hell, I think this will be my quote for the week.

“Let us advance and advance on Chaos and the Dark,” - Emerson.

Real pick me upper right? Ultimately, I know that all I can do is keep moving forward through the chaos until I find the light (Lora's definition of light: a career plan, a job I love, a rich husband, or stumbling upon a vast fortune).

Let’s just hope I can find that light before my hair gets any curler and I don’t dare leave the house. 

Hair Dye Strikes Again

Do you guys all remember the year long showing of Lora’s Technicolor Dreamhair?

If you don’t, here is a recap. I somehow manage to turn my hair red, purple, blue, and black…in one year. You would think that that vast experience in humiliation would have stopped me from ever trying again. But you know me, I’m no quitter.

False: I am a quitter. I have actually quit a lot of things: piano, violin, flute, basketball, volleyball, dating….

I guess a truer statement would be I don’t quit the things I should. In fact, I stubbornly refuse to quit the very things that are the worst for me.

Here is an example. I hate the show Dawson’s Creek. I am currently in season 6. Season 6! Do you know how many episodes I had to watch to get to that? A lot. And I hated every minute of it.

Anyhoo, I decided that my hair needed a little fall color to get me ready for the school year. I guess I should have been more specific. I was channeling fall in the sense of a rich brown color. Instead, I got a bright leafy orange.

Orange!

Now I shouldn’t be so dramatic. Technically it’s not completely orange. Technically, it’s only orange for the first few inches. Technically, it could be worse…but not by much.

It’s like I have a reverse melt. (Definition of Melt: Dark hair at the roots melting into a lighter shade towards the ends.)

Now before you start judging me for once again doing something stupid (this is directed to you mom), I actually consulted a professional. I guess I’m using ‘professional’ a little loosely; she was a saleswoman at Sally’s. BUT she did pick out my colors and promised a rich brown color and in the words of Pratt “And I believed her! I believed her!”

(Pratt was the unfortunate character on “Almost Heroes” that believed his straw women when she said it was ok to smoke. This resulted in her starting on fire and Pratt loosing the love of his life.)

Pratt and I have a lot in common

I guess the only great thing about this turn of events is I have now accomplished my 9th goal for this summer: Do something stupid.

Yay me!?

Also, I accomplished my 8^th goal: make my hair grow an inch. Unfortunately, only my left side fulfilled the goal and I ended up having to cut off my hard earned inch so my left side would match my much shorter right side. So let’s give three cheers to curly hair bobs!